Rustic Sh*tbox Beach Jersey

Salted rims. Rusted trims. Sons of Beaches forever.
Luxury is overrated — grit isn’t.

• Product Details:

  • 3.6 oz, 100% Polyester Mesh Body — breathable enough for your third margarita nap.

  • 4.1 oz, 100% Polyester Dazzle Yoke & Sleeves — shines brighter than your ex’s new relationship.

  • PosiCharge® Technology — keeps colors locked in longer than your last situationship.

  • Crossover Rib Knit V-Neck — for when you want to look like you “tried,” but really didn’t.

  • Not Designed to Be Worn Over Pads — unless you’re emotionally padded.

  • Print Method: DIGISOFT® — soft enough to make your old cotton tees jealous.

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  🏄♂️ Size Guide — Because We Don’t Judge, We Just Measure Differently

  Size	Translation	Beach-Life Fit Description
  S	“Still Working on That Six-Pack”	Slim fit. Ideal for guys who actually use their gym memberships.
  M	“Medium Rare”	Balanced. Enough room for tacos, tight enough for thirst traps.
  L	“Living Large”	For those who call every wave a workout.
  XL	“Extra Lager”	Fits comfortably around beer bellies and beach chairs.
  2XL	“Double the Trouble”	Designed for men who surf hard, snack harder.
  3XL	“Triple Shot of Sunshine”	You didn’t come to play — you came to party.
  4XL	“Big Wave Energy”	Plenty of breeze, zero squeeze. Worn by legends only.

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  🌊 Washing Instructions (Optional, Like Pants):

  • Wash cold, hang dry, and avoid bleach — unlike that one summer fling.

  • Do not iron the logo unless you hate fun.

  • Best paired with sandals, sarcasm, and SPF 15 confidence.

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Size Chart